Those Moments We Don’t Ever Want to Remember

My son, Cameron, has an 11.5 year old body, a 14-15 year old mind, and 7 year old social and emotional skills. We have seen so much clarity with the NIDS meds from Dr. Russell and I have to constantly remind myself that what we are doing now is regaining those years and skills he missed out on because he was sick with autism. We have had so many behavioral issues at school this year, while at the same time he is improving academically and flying through the curriculum.

On Friday, Cameron ended up with a half day of in-school suspension and a half day of out-of-school suspension. He wasn’t the one to throw the first punch, but was punished none the less. He refused to give another boy a paper he found on the floor. The other boy got the same punishment. This same boy who has been bullying him and is the root of all the problems at school. Since Cameron reacted so violently and had to be held down by a couple of high school boys, the school felt they both needed some reflection. I hadn’t even gotten home from dropping him off at school when this all went down. I had to turn around and go right back. The teacher that was supposed to be on duty was late. So there was no supervision before school started, which didn’t help the situation.

This kind of thing is starting to occur more often and with the onset of puberty. I know these kinds of things are common for healthy kids too. What makes it harder for us is that it seems like everyone is against your kid. And they don’t really understand to what lengths you go to help him. Just one more wall for our kids to climb, after they overcome the social issues.

Sometimes I wish I was past the crying stage…I just start well up every time I think about Cameron. I see so much potential, but keep hitting this wall. My husband works his butt off to afford the medical care and services Cameron needs. As a result, I’m pretty much on my own to implement the things my son needs to help him. I’m not the kind of person to throw in the towel, but I seriously worry about what my other child is not getting, to what detriment this is to my marriage because of the stress, etc.?

The medical interventions have made a big difference with Cameron, but it is not always a forward movement. And this incident is definitely a backwards step. I’m hoping our backwards slide is temporary and we just need to peel off another layer of his never ending onion of a problem.

As I look back for the last eight years though, that onion is considerably smaller…we’ve gone from an Outback blooming something to a little bit less than medium sized one. I’ve found Dr. Russell’s to be very affordable compared to many of the other treatments we’ve tried. The meds for the most part are affordable as well…since I pick up the Valtrex in Mexico.
I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and I’m sure there are many other struggling parents out there. We don’t have time to post on any parent support lists, because our hands are more than full. We are doing good just to lurk little on the list. That’s why I’m so appreciative to people like Marcia and Cynthia who are constants and can help us see there is a future, because right now I feel like I’m just clawing my way out of a whole and my fingers are nubs.

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